The latest in the tragedy that is my daughter

I just don’t know. Honestly… Who my daughter is, where did she come from.

Sadly, that’s not true, I do know… genetically, she’s like her bio-father and his family. They are all off their nuts, and so is she.

She was raised here with my loving husband, me, and her sister … in a stable loving home, every opportunity handed to her on a silver platter, well, mostly. There were catches of course. She had to work, get good grades, go to school, not sleep around, not do drugs and booze, not party 'til she got arrested, not lie, not sneak around… you know, the prison that we were.

So, now I learn, my lovely daughter in her infinite wisdom, has not only found a “hellagood job” in which some stranger she found on Craig’s list who lives in England now wants her to care for his elderly Alzheimer dad when they move here, but he’s going to send her $3650 now, and she wont even have to start until August.

Hmmm, scam you say?

Yes, just like the other 2 she fell for, when she became a “secret shopper” in which they mail her a cashiers check for $4000 and all she has to do is cash it and quickly (you know, before they verify that it’s not a real check) wire the money elsewhere, but the upside is she gets to keep a few hundred for herself.

Scam you say?… hmmmm.

I’ve known for ages, she’s been lying, sneaking around, screwing with guys… and I don’t mean dinner and a movie dating. That’s all a big part of why we asked her to leave. If that’s the life she wants, we weren’t going to support her while she did it.

Now I learn, she’s living with some 30 year old guy with his daughter and also with his friend in another house, having sex with both men and she has a home. Ahhh, every parent’s proud moment, yes?

I know, my amatuer psychology, I diagnosed her as “antisocial personality disorder and bi-polar” they used to call these sociopaths and manic depressives. There are a handful in the field that give her the same diagnosis, just nothing official.

She’s been like this for years. We’ve tried to get her help, she refuses.

Now what?

So, this is a life she’s chosen. Well, in her foggy brain, this is the best she wants to do. She quit her 4 hour a week job. To be fair, they were about to fire her. She can’t seem to land a job even at Subway. She would rather sleep with old men for a home than work for it. She’s made that abundantly clear. She even says straight out, there’s a benefit, she doesn’t have to DO anything. No work. Effort is too much, well, effort.

My husband and I are both at a loss. Our hearts are broken. We want to do something, but really, what is there to do? Drag her out by her hair and lock her up here as a prisoner? She’s an “adult” they’d arrest us. We can’t commit her, there’s no where to commit her, although I am quite sure that’s what she needs.

There are people like this; I’ve heard about them, heck even met a few. Bums, whoring for whatever, a place to crash, for a meal, for a drug fix… I’m stunned to learn that my daughter is one of them.

A few more pictures

Pictures really don't do it justice, but here they are...

On a brighter note

Last week I had a lovely visit with one of my bestest friends. She'd not been to California before so we saw some sights.

We went to Calaveras Big Trees, we went to Stinson Beach and Muir Beach, we went to Lake Tahoe and Fallen Leaf Lake.

At Calaveras, I took some pictures of some lovely Lilac bushes, in honor of my friend Janet. I hope my post comes through ok here.

Sad that all my blogs are frustration

But, here we go. This ought to be for the last time though. My friends know too well the saga that is my 19 year old daughter. Most of the history is here on this blog.
We let her stay here in our home under a few reasonable conditions.
1. get a damn job.
2. keep a damn job.
3. spend all day every day looking for a damn job if you don't have one or two even.
4. no more boyfriend, he's an enabler and she's a manipulator, they are bad bad bad for each other. His parents were very happy when we told them that one of our conditions was that she not see him anymore.
5. no more lies.
6. keep your room and bathroom clean.
7. pitch in around the house, we aren't your servants.
8. no more lies.
9. make money and save it to pay off the crazy high debt accumulated in the 41/2 months of living footloose and fancy free.
10. no more junk food. It makes her mood swings BAD.

Seems reasonable? Yes?

So, Saturday we find she's squirreled away some cash from a babysitting gig, and / or seen said boyfriend over the last 2 weeks and her car is filled with fast food remnants, soda bottles, soda cups, crap. Her room has some too. We had a very serious blow out. Told her her lies will catch up to her sooner or later, it has to happen, always does.

Today, I get a call from said boyfriends dad and he's just kicked her out of his house and out of his sons bed.

Uh huh. Not 10 hours after an act of "I'm sorry for all the crap" "I am thankful you took me back and gave me another chance".

No more. She's made her choices. She's an "adult" so she's out. I had made it clear over and over there would be no 3rd chance. If she blew this one all to hell, that's it. KABOOM.

I do worry for her safety, she has no where to go, that I know of. She may find some friends sofa to lay about on for a day or 3, but no one will put up with that for long I'm sure.

Do I sound harsh? I'm very angry. I will miss my child, I will worry for her safety every day. But, I will not put up with a liar, a thief and a cheat taking advantage anymore. Especially after she's told all of us, every family member to F*** off.

Sad day. For all of us. It's been sad and hard for a long time. But it is sad that it's come to this.